Not the usual Bishop's appointment

Last night was an interesting one; I pushed my wife, against her will, into meeting with our Bishop. She has been alone in this struggle, with no one to talk to. I have my blog, been meeting with Bishop, and been corresponding with a couple friends about this issue. Recently she talked to her cousin and told her what was going on, and she has been a great support to my wife- but she still needed something more. Thankfully she told me afterward that she was glad we went.

There is so much my wife deals with- and it seems at times that I get the focus. After all, I'm the one causing the problem! We're so focused on getting me out of my addictions and dealing with my attraction to guys that we have somewhat forgotten my wife's emotional needs. Not good.

I first spoke to my Bishop after I came out to my wife in May 2012. Two months later, we moved. I told my new Bishop about everything and we have been meeting regularly. But, I still see my old Bishop frequently due to a work situation. Yes, it was a little awkward for awhile! But he has been sensitive about it, and has never brought it up. Not once.

A couple days ago we had a meeting about 30 minutes away, and I was driving. And I actually brought up the subject with my old bishop. I couldn't believe I did. I mentioned to him my concerns about my wife, and he had some great advice. He said that really our wives need to feel important. They need to feel that we are willing to do what it takes to meet their needs. It's the, I'm going to step out of the box because I love you that much mentality. That day, my wife knew I was busy at work. And it still hurt her that I wasn't able to spend time with her. So that night I sacrificed my time (and income from that time.. gotta make that up now), and took her on a date to Red Robin, followed by a long walk on the beach. (haha, that sounds so cliche and gay.. Oh wait, I guess that's true!) But it let her know that she is that important. Several times that night I let go something that I wanted or even needed so that she would come first. I think it made a difference.

Last night our Bishop recommended we see a marriage counselor, and we're excited at the idea. I think it will be helpful to have professional input as we walk this difficult road. And heaven knows my wife needs someone around here to talk to. And that's exactly where this blessing came from.