My own Ammonihah

Ammonihah was the place to be. At least, it was if you were wicked. The Lord sent Alma and Amulek to preach the gospel; they did, and found many who believed. So what did the town folk do? Burned all the converts, and threw Alma and Amulek into a prison. The walls came tumbling down,

Alma and Amulek ran free, and then before you know it, the Lamanites came through and destroyed the whole city in one day. Everyone was killed, bodies were left lying in the streets, and it became known as the Desolation of Nehors.

Fast forward several chapters in the Book of Alma. Lamanites are invading Nephite lands, and where do you think they'd want to go? That's easy- let's take out Ammonihah again! But to their shock and surprise, in Alma 49 we find that Captain Moroni had fortified the rebuilt city. The Lamanites slunked away and went after the land of Noah, which had been weak before too. Surprise, surprise- Moroni had fortified all the lands round about. The Lamanites got their butts kicked.

See any applications yet?

I have my own Ammonihahs and Noahs. I've been weak for far too long in many sins. My city has been leveled as it were- several times. But, through Christ's Atonement and grace, "my city" has been rebuilt. And now I'm working on reinforcing it like never before. My wife and I are focusing on the good word of God in our lives. After all,

• Alma 31:5

  5 And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.

And it has been incredible, as we've focused on the Gospel. I've felt increased strength. I've felt increased connection with my sweet wife. We've been blessed.

And yet my counselor told me yesterday that's not going to be enough. I can study the scriptures for hours and hours every day, and it won't be enough if I expect myself to really overcome my addiction to pornography and stay away from it forever. I need to focus on how I handle and overcome my triggers in order to do that.

So, if I'm stressed, I need to first realize that the temptations will come during that weak moment. And I need to decide how I'm going to handle it in a healthy way. If I'm bored (AKA not feeling fulfilled in my current activity) then I need to have decided how to handle temptations that come during that time. Same thing if I'm tired. Angry. Whatever it may be. And I'm going to write down my action plan so that it's easier to follow through next time.

Point is, I'm excited. No, it's not easy to figure these things out. Yes, the temptations will come- and probably the rest of my life. But I'll be more ready for them. As I prepare myself with the word of God, and focus on overcoming the temptations as they come, I know I can win.

 For the first time in a long time, I really feel like I can kick the pornography thing in a real way. I'm going to make strong what was weak. I'm going to rebuild my own Ammonihah and fortify it against attack. And there's a lot of hope in that.